BIRTHDAYS AND CHANGING PERSPECTIVES

This past week I celebrated my birthday.  It was not one of the “milestone” birthdays.  I didn’t plan a great deal for it and, indeed, it simply felt like another very good day.  When asked by friends if I had a good birthday, I responded, “It was great.  I slept late.  I ate well.  It was peaceful and calm.”

Of course, I also made the comment that you know you are getting older when you describe a “great birthday” as “peaceful and calm.”  Yet, that is exactly what it was and I wouldn’t have wished for anything else.  I didn’t need fireworks or parties or expensive gifts or an all-you-can eat cake and ice cream buffet (though that last item does sound pretty good.)  I suppose I look at birthdays and holidays differently now than previously in life.  I do believe the day is great if I feel healthy, sleep and eat well, and feel peaceful and calm.  When I look at it from this perspective, I realize that most every day is my birthday.  Who could ask for anything more?

Happy Birthday,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

www.NexAim.com

OPPORTUNITIES TO BE “OF USE”

I got an email from a good friend who reads my blog regularly telling me she’s missed the frequency of my postings in recent weeks.  I responded to her that I also miss them.  2011 has brought me such abundance in terms of opportunity.  I moved into a new office in the center of Los Angeles.  I completed a four month contract with an organization I care greatly about.  Former clients came back unexpectedly and new clients started appearing seemingly out of nowhere.  In the midst of all of that, I got a call to join the cast of a production of SHE LOVES ME down in the South Bay.  I have not been part of a “traditional” musical theatre production since I left that world almost nine years ago (non-traditional, now that is another subject).  I’m having a great time and it is a beautiful production.  But, all of these things happening at once has reduced the time I have for activities outside of clients and work.  I realize that this is one of those wonderful moments when the abundance of activity and opportunity is to be appreciated and treasured.  So, that is exactly what I am doing.  I know things like this don’t last.  They come in waves.  So while I have the good fortune of being “of use” in the world, I accept it with arms wide open, appreciating the ebb and flow that is life.  And, in the midst of this flurry of activity, I write.  I write because it brings me joy and, as my good friend reminded me, it can be “of use” to others.

Thank you for the opportunity to be “of use,”

Mark

http://www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

http://www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

http://www.NexAim.com

INSPIRED AND GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS!

Friends never cease to amaze me in unexpected ways.  From conversations that run a gamut of emotions to gifts of love that come in the mail even during non-holidays, I’ve been blessed to experience great friendships.

Yesterday was no exception.  My niece called me to let me know that a “Facebook Friend” had mailed a care package to my grandmother in response to her recent loss of home due to fire.  The package contained books of humor, poetry, and inspiration and a range of CD’s of different types of music and a monetary donation to be applied to the massive clean-up effort that continues on my grandmother’s property.  This gift of love was completely unexpected, but greatly appreciated.  It was clear that this friend had really put some thought into the care package she wanted to send my grandmother.  She had read my postings and recorded in her mind items of inspiration that she thought appropriate.  Let me go further to say that though this friend and I have corresponded through email, we have not spoken in over 20 years.  Even as I write this, I smile a big, goofy grin.

So, what does this do for me?  It increases my desire to give, give, give — words of solace, gifts of kindness, acts of service, thoughts of compassion.  In the giving, there is so much that is received.  I’m very grateful to be reminded of this universal law on a consistent basis.  To my many friends, whether I spoke with you yesterday, or haven’t spoken with you in 20 years — THANK YOU!

Humbled,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

www.NexAim.com

MUCH FOR WHICH TO BE GRATEFUL!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!  I really enjoy this holiday because there is so much for which to be thankful.  Where our thoughts and attention go, our emotions follow.  When we take the time to focus on gratitude and appreciation, our emotional state lifts and we feel our best.  This holiday, I am intent upon keeping my attention on all the good things in life…and there are many!!!  Thanks for continuing to read and support this inspirational blog.  I am most grateful!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

www.NexAim.com

GOODBYE SUMMER … HELLO AUTUMN!

While the rest of the world was experiencing warmer than usual summer temperatures, here in Southern California we truly only had about 2 weeks that felt like real summer (temperatures above 85 degrees).  Growing up in Central Florida, I like a good, hot summer.  “Aha!” I thought.  Perhaps this mild summer here in SoCal means an extended period of summer.  Nope.  It’s now two days past Labor Day and both yesterday and today have been overcast with drizzle.  The current temperature at 9:30 am is still in the 60’s.  Though the calendar does not yet say so, it is officially Autumn.

I love the holidays that this time of the year brings and I welcome change, but there is that part of me that feels like I somehow got cheated out of a full summer.  My vacation plans were shortened and, in some cases, cancelled.  August, typically a slow month for me, was busier than many other parts of the year.  So, as I sit here wearing a light jacket and looking out on the misty hill in front of me with a few drops of moisture streaming down my window, I wonder what this new season brings … and I am extremely optimistic.

This week I get to work with one of my favorite corporate clients, Paul Mitchell the School.  I am days away from the launch of my new business website with corporate consultant, Mike Amado, titled NexAim.com.  One of my comedic, creative writing projects with my life long friend about a Behavior Therapist is being passed around in entertainment circles.  I continue to have great meetings with companies with whom I wish to partner.  I am inspired to continue developing a web series that is about communication, body language, choices, coaching, questions, NLP, movement, passion, love, forgiveness, gratitude, and any number of subjects about which I care with my good friend, Tom.  Next month, I get the opportunity to unveil a jazz concept designed to entertain while also educating and in November I’ll be working with The Lythgoes on a new entertainment project that promises to be a lot of fun.  I feel that I have so much to look forward to and I am so grateful.  My challenge is simply to breathe deeply as it is all happening and enjoy it as much as possible.  As was testament this summer, life moves so quickly.  Given the choice to enjoy it or rush through it (and I believe we have a choice about how we experience life), I am choosing to relish every bit of it.  Life is good and I am grateful.

Wishing everyone a pleasant transition into Fall,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

UNEXPECTED CHANGES IN A SUMMER VACATION!

Today, I’m getting out of town for a little summer vacation.  My plans this summer have changed radically.  Literally, I have made so many plans that have changed this summer that it is challenging to recall all of them.  And, yet, each of those changes could either be met with disappointment or gratitude.  Though I am inclined to mourn when certain plans fall through, I have come to know that every change in plans is a blessing waiting to be uncovered.  This last change in plans is no exception.  Had I followed through as expected I would have left on Saturday and not run into an old, dear friend at a jazz concert on Saturday night, I wouldn’t have had dinner with my dear friends who are in town for the Emmy’s, nor would I have visited with the amazing couple on Sunday who six years ago appeared with me on “Oprah’s Million Dollar Wedding Giveaway.”  The new client that called on Saturday would not have heard back from me until next week and a family member who is visiting Los Angeles for longer than expected would have had to find another place to stay.  Who knows what other blessings are underneath the change in plans?  It doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that I know that the way that things work out are always working out for the best.  So, for today, hello Yosemite.

Hope everyone’s last week of the summer holiday is unexpectedly amazing,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT!!!

This summer I sent out a request to a few individuals for testimonials about work I had done with them personally or with their organizations over the years.  The response that I received was very beautiful.  I expected a couple of lines of testimonial support, but instead received a few detailed love letters.  The feeling I had as I received each one was extreme gratitude, humility, and love.

In preparation for the online release of my new business website (coming soon, NexAim.com) with my business partner, corporate consultant, Mike Amado, I finally got around to organizing the testimonials and posting them to my personal website (http://www.markedgarstephens.com/testimonials.html).  All that I can say to those who wrote to me, whether posted or not, is “thanks for the support.”  It means a great deal to me.

Suggestion to those who read this blog:  No matter your line of business or whether you are even in business, select a few individuals to write a testimonial about you.  Sometimes it is very powerful to be reminded of how you have positively affected those around you, and the reminder can be great inspiration to keep giving the best that you have to give.

Thankful,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

LOOK MA, I’M DANCING!

So, if you’ve been following my posts, you know that a few weeks back I decided to do some things I haven’t done in quite a while.  One of those things was to actually take a movement/dance class with a room full of strangers.  The results of that experiment can be found in my earlier posts.  However, something even stranger and more synchronistic came about seemingly out of the blue.  I was invited to work on a corporate presentation in which dance/movement is required.  So, my little foray into moving my body (and sweating and breathing hard and memorizing steps), has led me to this place.  I’m having a blast.  I’m working my butt off and there is a part of myself that is reawakening.  I feel so alive.  And all of this from a challenge to do something I haven’t done in years.  So, now I’m thinking about my next challenge — painting, rock climbing, something completely new.  Who knows?  I only know that life has a way of bringing things to us in very mysterious, unexpected, and beautiful ways.

Grateful,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

AHHHHH! Audio Post

EMOTIONAL RELIEF

Asked recently, how to facilitate a change in perspective when the emotional state is so low or seemingly out of control, I said, “Feel an opposing emotion for even a few seconds.  This emotional respite is a break in the old thoughts, and provide mental and emotional relief.”

In a nutshell it works like this:  You can cry and you can laugh, and sometimes you switch between the two feelings at lightning speed, but you cannot feel two opposing emotions in exactly the same moment.  Try it.  If you feel sad, find a thought that makes you laugh and focus on it.  If you find a smile or chuckle coming through, even if for only a few seconds, you’ve made a momentary shift in your consciousness.  If you are angry or frustrated, focus on a thought that brings a sense of calm and peace.  If thoughts of guilt, shame, or blame are bubbling through your veins, try a dose of gratitude and appreciation.  It doesn’t matter if the new thought stays around for 2 hours or 2 seconds.  It is the shift in perspective and the respite from negatively obsessive thoughts that is important.  It sounds simple and the practice itself is simple.  The first step is becoming consciously aware of when you are feeling “out of sorts” and want to experience emotional relief.  As always, don’t take my word for it.  Try it for yourself.

Breathing,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

FRIENDS AND CHANGES Audio Post

OLD FRIENDS IN NEW PLACES

Recently, I’ve reconnected with several good friends who are in very different places in their lives than when last we were in contact.  For me, it is a reminder that nothing stays the same.  Everything changes.  I find this neither good nor bad.  I am simply glad to have reconnected.

Whether you are an old friend or a new friend reading this, I’m glad we are connecting.  And, I am interested to see what changes are coming.

Optimistic,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

I DID IT … AND WOW WAS IT GREAT! Audio Post

I DID IT … AND WOW WAS IT GREAT!

Recently, I posted a blog called “Do What You Love.”  Along those lines, I made a pledge to myself that I would follow my own advice.  I made a list of things that I enjoy doing that I haven’t done in a while.  One of those things was to dance.

I practice yoga at a local, donation-based studio in Santa Monica (PowerYoga.com).  Perusing the bulletin board after a class one day, I saw a posting for a Sunday evening class and “jam session” for Contact Improv Dance (ContactImprovLA.com).  I had no idea what it was or what to expect.  The posting described the practice as follows: “It’s somewhere between tango, modern dance, aikido, wrestling, gymnastics, acroyoga and none of the above.”  Great!  I still had not idea what to expect, but I went anyway.

OMG!  I had the best time.  In the big, wide-open studio about 20 people gathered to explore movement, the floor, the space around us and our own bodies.  We rolled on each other (literally, we did a group exercise called a “log roll,” so much fun), lifted one another, breathed together, and ended up in positions that one could only call, “interesting.”  It was a sensual experience without being sexual.  It was an intimate experience without being invasive.  It was physically challenging without feeling like work.  For three hours (an extremely fast three hours, I wanted to stay longer), a room full of virtual strangers shared this very unique touch/movement experience with very few words; communicating strengths, weaknesses, and curiosities through movement.

This morning I can feel that body my body is activated.  I moved in ways I haven’t moved in years.  My body feels that it has been massaged from top to bottom.  And, I am eager for my next class.

This all came about because of a challenge to “Do What You Love.”  I’m doing it and I’m loving it.

Invigorated,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

PLAYING NEW GAMES Audio Post

PLAYING NEW GAMES!

Yesterday, after the extended play of the World Cup Finals, I got together with a group of close friends for a games night/dinner event.  We laughed a lot and ate to our stomach’s content.  During the evening, I became aware how games that have a highly competitive nature tend to be less fun than those that are played for laughs (the World Cup is a good example of this).  If you are on the winning team or the winning side, things feel pretty good; if not, then not.  I noticed that when we got really serious about the rules and regulations of a game or overly invested in “winning,” the level of fun subsided.  When we were involved with games that kept the whole group active and working toward a common goal, there was more levity, more cooperation, and more laughter.

I like to play games as much as (and sometimes more than) others.  And, I really do like to win.  But, I am noticing that I am generally having more fun in life when the goal is to laugh, enjoy, and help the other players to succeed in a goal.  It makes me wonder how this aspect of game playing could be applied to the greater society.  What would things be like if individuals, communities, businesses, organizations, and governments worked toward the benefit of all; like a game in which all of the players enjoy the process, work together, laugh along the way, and achieve a common goal?  I think it’s a good question.  I’m going to play with that for a while.

Think tanking with a smile,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

I’M HERE! Audio Post

I’M HERE! GLAD YOU’RE HERE WITH ME!

Okay, folks, I’m starting this off with a BIG THANK YOU to those of you tuning in and turning on to this blog and its accompanying audio post.  Yesterday’s posting hit an all-time high for my blog postings and I received several comments and emails from friends.  It was very heartening and motivates me to keep moving in this direction.  In recent years, it seems that I have become more isolated.  It seems to be the pattern with many people as we get older (am I really using that word???  seems so).  Things get in the way — work schedules, an aversion to driving (especially in LA), family functions, children’s events, a desire to simply be at home, the need to watch “So You Think You Can Dance,” etc.  Personally, I don’t get together with good friends nearly as often as I did in the past.  I suppose blogging is a way of reaching out to a visually invisible world with the intention that my words, my expression, is being felt somewhere and maybe (just maybe) making some sort of a difference.  At the heart of who I am, I am a communicator.  The desire to communicate and share something of value lives inside of me like a heart beat (I suppose this is true to some extent for a great many people).  I like to communicate using words such as love, passion, inspiration, possibilities, choices, etc.  In my posts you can expect to see and hear those words a lot.  It is my intention that they bring a lift to your day as they do to mine.  Thanks to you, I am inspired to move forward into other areas of communicating using the magic of technology and the internet.  The possibilities really are endless!!!  Thank you for the comments.  Thank you for the company.  Thank you for the inspiration.  I look forward to a long and fruitful relationship with you.

Opening to new possibilities,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

YOUR RICHNESS

A friend was going through some financial concerns and came upon this quote by Chogyam Trungpa …

“You should begin to build up confidence and joy in your own richness.  That richness is the essence of generosity.  It is the sense of resourcefulness, that you can deal with whatever is available around you and not feel poverty-stricken.”

During a period of adjustment — economically, emotionally, physically — I thought this an important quote to share.

Celebrate the richness of your generosity and resourcefulness!

Mark Edgar Stephens

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

SUMMER BEACHES

I was born in Central Florida and spent many of my formative years there.  In my high school years, I often went to the Gulf Coast for the warmth of the water and the beauty of the beaches.  During college (I went to FSU in Tallahassee), I spent many spring breaks and summers in Panama City Beach in the panhandle of Florida.  Speaking with one of my dearest friends this week about what is happening on the beaches of the Gulf caused my heart to sink just a bit.  Not only is the ecology of the Gulf being ravaged, but the economy is also taking a huge hit.  My friend says that there are very few people on the beaches this summer.  I have beautiful memories of those pristine beaches layered in white “sugar” sand.  I wanted to do something to help.

Yesterday, I went for a walk by the Pacific Ocean in Santa Monica.  The beach was covered with people enjoying the first days of summer.  The water was cool, but the spirits of the people sufficiently heated.  The scene was inspiring.  Knowing that I am thousands of miles away from the Gulf Coast on a beach that is not currently affected by the BP Oil calamity, I looked out at the ocean.  I simply gave thanks for the ability to walk on a clean beach and to watch people enjoying the relative cleanliness of the water (I do say “relative”).  I picked up a few pieces of litter and I sat for a brief while in silence.  I felt at peace.  If the most that I can do at this moment is to be grateful for the currently unaffected beaches and ocean water, then that is what I will do.  Somehow the awareness of the unpredictability of life made me a bit more present than usual.  I found myself wanting to take greater care of the ecology around me  — the Santa Monica Mountains, the Pacific Ocean, and even my own backyard.  It may be only small tokens, like gratitude and picking up a popped balloon, but it is the small things that make a difference.

For my friends and family on the Gulf side of Florida,

Mark Edgar Stephens

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com