WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

I had a great Thanksgiving Holiday — simple and loving.  What more could anyone ask?

During the socializing and relaxing, I noticed a conversation that kept coming up from many people — young, old, male, female, business professional, and artist.  The conversation focused on new directions, new careers, new possibilities.  I’ve been having this conversation with myself for years now.  I enjoy doing so many things and I dabble in far more things than one might think possible.  I used to make myself wrong for playing in so many different fields, but in recent years I’ve realized what a gift it is.

It seems that many people are at a tipping point in deciding what they want to do next, what they want to do when they grow up.  The interesting thing in these recent conversations is that they were not so much focused on new career paths with a primary need to make money, but to do something that makes the heart sing out loud.

I think this is a great precipice upon which to stand.  It opens up possibilities and reignites conversations with the heart.

If you’ve been asking yourself questions about your new direction, you’ve got plenty of company.  If you don’t yet know what that new direction is, stop and breathe.  Be quiet.  Don’t force it.  Keep your eyes, ears, and heart open.  Little by little, the new “thing” will reveal itself.

And as Dr. Seuss so famously said, “Oh, the places we will go!”

Body Talkin’,

Mark

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www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

FROM CONTRAST, NEW PERSPECTIVES ARE BORN

Nine years ago, after completing my secondary education in hypnotherapy and behavior modification, I started spending my time working in two different types of worlds — one-on-one coaching in private, quiet, personalized settings and on-camera coaching in bustling, activity-filled television production locations.  The former was a world of therapeutic insight designed to help individuals to identify and move through challenges hampering their personal and professional  growth and well-being.  The latter was a platform that effectively used the television medium as a form of “edutainment” that often helped not only the individual receiving the coaching, but also the production team working on the project and, eventually, the  viewing audience.  During this near decade of my life I have enjoyed these two worlds that I have been fortunate to work in and to inhabit.

My life has changed as everyone’s life has changed.  During my time since beginning work in my field, I have moved from the fast-paced activity of the Upper West Side of Manhattan to a peaceful, rural environment tucked way up in a Los Angeles Canyon surrounded by state government protected parklands.  Without fully realizing it as it was happening, I transitioned from a city dwelling, part-time personal development coach working in the “hurry up and wait” entertainment industry to a full-time, partially secluded, extremely reflective, “therapist type” lifestyle with occasional moments of group activity provided by seminars, workshops, and television appearances.  Each of these living and working scenarios has come with great advantages and blessings.  Each has birthed moments of contrast from which have sprung new desires for change.

I’ve discovered how much I thrive working with a team and in group settings.  During those times, a lot of energy is produced and expended; energy that feels natural and like a welcomed best friend with whom to play.  Playing with that much energy and shaping it in a way that is optimal for everyone concerned — self, production team, participants, viewers, etc. — requires a proper amount of rest and some time alone away from the group setting.  The rest and recuperation is key to staying healthy, inspired, and motivated.  I’ve also learned that there is a high price to pay for too much time spent over-analyzing any situation, my own or someone else’s.  For me, too much time alone, away from community, only connecting through phone, email, or in therapeutic settings has to be balanced with group play, fellowship, stepping out of the center of the circle and taking pleasure in watching the rest of “the team” do their thing.

I think I have learned a LOT in the past nine years.  I believe I am positioned to play with the energy that I adore so much in a way that is healthier and more giving and more profound than perhaps I was consciously aware of in the past.  This feeling, this realization, this perspective is brewing something in my life that I am not yet able to identify in words.  It is a feeling, a knowing.  I welcome it.  I respect it.  I honor it.  And, I am grateful for every step and every feeling and every experience that has brought me to this moment.

With gratitude,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

EXCITED BY POSSIBILITIES!

I don’t know if it is the beginning of the year or simply a time of mass transition, but from clients, friends, and family, I am hearing about extreme changes happening in people’s lives.  I am not excluded from these changes.

Change can be uncomfortable.  In fact, most times, change can feel like emotional pain.  One of the functions of the subconscious mind is to keep us in what we know.  Veering off the course of what “has been” can be frightening to our minds, to our egos.  So, there is the temptation to struggle, to fight the changes that are coming.  The opposite of that view is to be excited by the possibilities that change brings.  I am choosing the latter.  Changes in work, career, home life, relationships, finances, and routines are opportunities for life to be revitalized and renewed.  If we can train our minds to look toward possibilities during times of extreme change, we can use the fuel of curiosity and faith to restructure our lives in ways that ultimately are more beneficial and satisfying to us and to those around us.

What will today bring?  What decisions will I make?  What changes will appear?  Will I be able to accept those changes with gratitude, love, and forgiveness?  I smile as I feel excited by the possibilities.

Changing,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

www.NexAim.com

WHAT’S THE QUESTION?

Often when a question comes up for a client, friend, family or for myself, the first thing I do is look at how the question has been framed.  Our subconscious minds are hard-wired to seek answers that correspond to the questions that we ask.  If you ask yourself, “Why can’t I lose weight?”  Your mind will find all of the reasons why you can’t lose weight.  If you ask yourself, “Why is that person against me?”  Your mind will search for all of the reasons why that person is against you.  Ultimately, these types of questions lead us toward answers that provide all of the proof for why it is difficult to overcome the obstacle or challenge facing us.

I like to turn questions around.  Instead of asking why something “can’t” be or why something is “against” me, I ask questions that support an answer that will provide emotional and mental relief.  “How can I be at my most healthy?  How can I make the best of this situation?  How do can I see this experience differently?  What is the blessing in this challenge?”  I believe that great advancements in science, technology, medicine, intellectual thinking, art, creativity, spirituality, and societal change come from asking questions that open up possibilities.  “Is there a cure for cancer?  How can I make this machine fly?  How can I be of greater use in the world?  What is possible?”

I make it a habit to pay attention to the questions that I am asking and the way that I am asking them.  I listen to how I frame my questions.  What sort of questions have you been asking lately?

Curious,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

www.NexAim.com

PLAYING NEW GAMES Audio Post

PLAYING NEW GAMES!

Yesterday, after the extended play of the World Cup Finals, I got together with a group of close friends for a games night/dinner event.  We laughed a lot and ate to our stomach’s content.  During the evening, I became aware how games that have a highly competitive nature tend to be less fun than those that are played for laughs (the World Cup is a good example of this).  If you are on the winning team or the winning side, things feel pretty good; if not, then not.  I noticed that when we got really serious about the rules and regulations of a game or overly invested in “winning,” the level of fun subsided.  When we were involved with games that kept the whole group active and working toward a common goal, there was more levity, more cooperation, and more laughter.

I like to play games as much as (and sometimes more than) others.  And, I really do like to win.  But, I am noticing that I am generally having more fun in life when the goal is to laugh, enjoy, and help the other players to succeed in a goal.  It makes me wonder how this aspect of game playing could be applied to the greater society.  What would things be like if individuals, communities, businesses, organizations, and governments worked toward the benefit of all; like a game in which all of the players enjoy the process, work together, laugh along the way, and achieve a common goal?  I think it’s a good question.  I’m going to play with that for a while.

Think tanking with a smile,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

I’M HERE! Audio Post

I’M HERE! GLAD YOU’RE HERE WITH ME!

Okay, folks, I’m starting this off with a BIG THANK YOU to those of you tuning in and turning on to this blog and its accompanying audio post.  Yesterday’s posting hit an all-time high for my blog postings and I received several comments and emails from friends.  It was very heartening and motivates me to keep moving in this direction.  In recent years, it seems that I have become more isolated.  It seems to be the pattern with many people as we get older (am I really using that word???  seems so).  Things get in the way — work schedules, an aversion to driving (especially in LA), family functions, children’s events, a desire to simply be at home, the need to watch “So You Think You Can Dance,” etc.  Personally, I don’t get together with good friends nearly as often as I did in the past.  I suppose blogging is a way of reaching out to a visually invisible world with the intention that my words, my expression, is being felt somewhere and maybe (just maybe) making some sort of a difference.  At the heart of who I am, I am a communicator.  The desire to communicate and share something of value lives inside of me like a heart beat (I suppose this is true to some extent for a great many people).  I like to communicate using words such as love, passion, inspiration, possibilities, choices, etc.  In my posts you can expect to see and hear those words a lot.  It is my intention that they bring a lift to your day as they do to mine.  Thanks to you, I am inspired to move forward into other areas of communicating using the magic of technology and the internet.  The possibilities really are endless!!!  Thank you for the comments.  Thank you for the company.  Thank you for the inspiration.  I look forward to a long and fruitful relationship with you.

Opening to new possibilities,

Mark

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

DO WHAT YOU LOVE! Audio Post

TRANSFORMING OUR MINDS

In my book of wisdom today there was this quote by Matthieu Ricard:

“Our search for happiness is more often founded on our illusions than on reality.  It is pointless to try to shape the world to fit our desires: we must transform our minds.”

There is not much I can add to this quote other than the following question:

“Who are you choosing to be?”

With possibilities,

Mark Edgar Stephens

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

INVITING QUESTIONS!!!

So, the summer months are coming and with them come long days and more time for questions.  I am entertaining the thought of starting a weekly (or daily) video log (vlog) to answer, comment upon, or explore some of the questions that I receive in emails, during personal appearances, and from clients.  I need your help in this endeavor.  Any question that is related to body language, hypnotherapy, dream analysis, graphology, behavior modification, public speaking, body/mind therapy, overcoming fear, moving ahead in life, raising consciousness, my book, relationships, sex, romance, dating, passion, possibilities, inspiration, or anything related to life-affirming, life-enhancing issues, I welcome to this blog or to my personal email, mark@markedgarstephens.com  My intention is to start this vlog response, which will be featured on this blog, on my website and on youtube, as soon as it is possible.  So, please, if you have been holding onto a question with which you’d like a bit of perspective and exploration, I’d really like to hear from you.  As usual, I’ll keep you posted with developments on the vlog.   Of course, if you are visiting this blog regularly, you won’t be able to miss it.

Curious about your questions,

Mark Edgar Stephens

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?

Sometimes I have clients who come to me and this question more than any other comes up, “What’s it all about?”  Challenges in life make them ask why the relationship ended or why the business is failing or where the passion went.  I always start this question and answer process with, “I don’t have your answers, but you do.”  Then, my questions begin.  In this process I am always so blessed to be the recipient of this learning process because as my clients go on their journey of discovery, I go on my own personal journey.  I never know where it will lead, I simply follow and try not to get in the way of what life is bringing to me.  In this way, I am constantly and consistently coaching myself.  If you are at an impasse in your life and asking questions that don’t seem to have answers, a hypnotherapist, behavior modification or life coach may be of assistance.  There are also plenty of books available that can used as personal coaching tools.  Or, you may simply want to sit quietly for a long while and just be with your feelings and your questions and see what comes up in the silence of your own mind.  After all, no one has the answers for you.  Your deepest, most profound answers are inside of you.

With passion and purpose,

Mark Edgar Stephens

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

ADVERSITY INTO BLESSINGS

I truly believe that adversities can be viewed as blessings when seen from new perspectives.  During my second trip to appear on THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW, in the hotel I was staying, the money from my wallet was stolen.  I remember having a “freak out” moment.  It was only hours before I was to be picked up to go to the studios and there I was having feelings of confusion and anger over what had happened.  I knew that I needed to be at my best for the day.  It was the big season finale and one deserving couple was to be awarded a MILLION DOLLAR WEDDING GIVEAWAY based partially upon my assessment of the couple.  To be at my optimal best, I needed some help in shifting my perspective and finding the blessing.  I called my coach on the phone and he walked me through all of the necessary questions to be able to turn my feelings around and see the adverse situation from a perspective that not only brought a smile to my face, but in an interesting way, made me grateful for the event.  Long story short, I went on to have one of the best television appearances of my life that day at HARPO STUDIOS.  The details of this story can be found in my book, WHO ARE YOU CHOOSING TO BE?

Sometimes when we are in the middle of adverse circumstances it can be challenging to find the blessings, but with a little help and some well-intentioned questions, it is possible.  Think about a situation in your own life where the memory of an event causes you pain.  Ask yourself, “What is the blessing?” and see if any new perspectives come up for you.  If you need some help with this, you can always do the exercise in Chapter 5 of my book or simply ask a close friend to help you see the good that can come from the otherwise “unfortunate” situation.  Finding the blessing is always possible.  It simply takes a willingness to do so and the patience for the answer to arrive.

With blessings,

Mark Edgar Stephens

www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com

THE POWER OF QUESTIONS

At the beginning of each chapter of my book, WHO ARE YOU CHOOSING TO BE?, I ask a powerful question.  In my private practice I ask a lot of questions.  The power of questions to be able to open the subconscious mind to new ways of thinking and new perspectives is very powerful.  In fact, I believe that it is through the questioning process that we as humans have advanced technologically, medically, creatively, financially, emotionally and spiritually.  We ask a question that opens up possibilities that we may not have previously explored and then we follow the line of questions until we find a satisfactory answer.

This is what a good coach does.  He or she asks questions that help a person to arrive at their own answers.  They empower, not by pointing a superior finger, but by asking the compassionate and thought-provoking question.

What is Possible?

Where is Your Attention?

What is The Blessing?

What is Your Passion?

These are all questions that stoke the fires of creative, emotional, and personal growth.  Try it.  Ask yourself these questions and see what answers come up for you.

With great possibilities,

Mark Edgar Stephens

http://www.MarkEdgarStephens.com

http://www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com