Lately, I’ve been working on a project in which I get to laugh … a lot. I’m finding that I have more energy throughout the day. I’m sleeping even more soundly and waking up refreshed. I’ve even lost a pound or two. My mind feels clearer and though I have less time to get the “other things” done, it doesn’t seem to matter. I’m having a good time and it shows.
I can’t think of many things more healing than laughter. It creates physical changes in the body — more oxygen exchanged in the respiratory system, more blood rushing through the veins, endorphins released in the system, and an abdominal workout all happening at the same time.
It’s the holidays! If you haven’t taken the time to do so, please go watch a funny holiday movie, read a funny book, or just get together with friends agreeing to only talk about things that lift you up and cause you to laugh out loud.
Try it! Laughter is the best medicine for the head and the heart!
Body Talkin’ and Laughin’,
Mark
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One of the most helpful tips I can give you for understanding Body Language is to “feel it first.” By this, I mean tap into your own body and read what is there. Literally, stop and take a few deep breaths. Notice where your body is tight or catches itself from the deep inhalation. Notice how deeply you can breathe. Notice if there is any area of the body that is asking for your attention. I call this exercise in body awareness, attention, and relaxation, “deliberate breathing.”
As you do this breathing exercise, don’t attempt to change anything in the body or the way you feel about the body. Simply notice where you attention and awareness goes in the body. Feel what the body is telling by how it feels. Are your feet evenly planted on the floor? Do you have a wide stance or are your legs crossed? Are you leaning into one hip or is your pelvis titled forward or backward? Is your chest puffed out or are you caved in on yourself? Are your shoulders tense and uneven, or dropped and relaxed. Is there tension or relaxation in your elbows, wrists, hands? Do you have a pain in the neck? Is your head tilted? What is your face doing — scrunched, smiling, furrowed brows, tight lips, etc.? Each of these things tells you something about your body and how you are feeling this moment. Feel into what your body is telling you. Identify the feeling. Don’t judge it (a big no-no in Body Language). Instead, simply acknowledge what your body is doing and the corresponding feeling that goes with the posture, pain, discomfort, or openness reflected in your body. Before you read another book on Body Language or another specialist’s words about it (okay, do finish this blog posting), decide for yourself what your body is telling you. Ultimately, reading and understanding body language is best comprehended by understanding the feelings in your own body first. Later, you can use your body as a tool to mimic the postures, stances, gestures, walks, and physical mannerisms of others. With a developed awareness of your own body and by adopting the physicality of others, your body and brain will work together to inform you what others are thinking, feeling, and subconsciously conveying to the world.
I’ll get more deeply into this subject with the next posting and give you a few tips as to how mimicry of another person’s Body Language helps to understand that person more completely. You’ll even learn how to mimic Body Language that conveys success, confidence, self-esteem, and attractiveness.
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I believe there is nothing more beneficial for your optimal health and well-being than how you are feeling right now in this moment. It can be argued that many external circumstances influence and/or dictate how you feel. I do not refute those arguments. I know there are days that I receive a piece of unpleasant news or something I was counting on doesn’t come through and I spiral downward into an emotional dark pit. However, I also know that slight adjustments in my internal world (e.g. deep, deliberate breathing, focusing my thoughts on something inspiring, becoming quiet for five minutes or more) make a difference in the way that I feel and often clears some “space” for new perspectives to enter into my mind. Also, I have learned that shifts in body language (e.g. standing up a little taller, pulling the shoulders back, coaxing a little smile (even if I don’t feel like it)) send signals from my body to my mind inviting my thoughts and feelings to remember what feeling good looks and feels like (muscle memories associated with good feelings can actually change your mood). Furthermore, activities in my external world (e.g. exercise, a walk in nature, listening to inspiring music, viewing works of art, observing other people who are in a good mood, laughing at something funny in a movie, on tv, or in print (like the comics section of the paper)) can also strongly affect my emotional state.
Daily, I am checking in with myself to see how I am feeling. If there is room to feel just a bit better (and there always seems to be room for this), I consciously create a slight shift in my thoughts, my body, and/or my activities. These slight shifts make a huge difference in my day. And, since there is nothing that affects the experience of my day-to-day life more than how I am feeling in the moment, I make “feeling my best” a priority. Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself!
I like to watch the Tony Awards. Before my current incarnation as the Body Language/Behavior Modification guy, the New York Broadway Community was my community. Over the years, I have watched friends, former classmates, and former clients perform on the Tony’s stage and win a Tony or two. It is a world that is very familiar to me and I enjoy hearing the words of those who maintain the discipline and work ethic to be able to sustain eight shows a week, sometimes for years on end. Last night’s Tony’s ceremony was no exception.
One of last night’s recipients (Katie Finneran) encouraged young people who dream of one day performing on Broadway to go for it. She essentially said (and I am paraphrasing here) that no matter how far you may be from the bright lights of Broadway, the right teachers, opportunities, and moments arise when you follow your passions, follow your heart, follow your dreams. It is not important how you get to where you are going. It is only important that you follow the dictates of your heart unwaveringly. I agree with this statement. I was inspired by what she said to millions of people last night.
If you have a dream, go for it. Life is a gift and it passes more quickly than we sometimes realize. What inspires you? What is your dream???
So, the summer months are coming and with them come long days and more time for questions. I am entertaining the thought of starting a weekly (or daily) video log (vlog) to answer, comment upon, or explore some of the questions that I receive in emails, during personal appearances, and from clients. I need your help in this endeavor. Any question that is related to body language, hypnotherapy, dream analysis, graphology, behavior modification, public speaking, body/mind therapy, overcoming fear, moving ahead in life, raising consciousness, my book, relationships, sex, romance, dating, passion, possibilities, inspiration, or anything related to life-affirming, life-enhancing issues, I welcome to this blog or to my personal email, mark@markedgarstephens.com My intention is to start this vlog response, which will be featured on this blog, on my website and on youtube, as soon as it is possible. So, please, if you have been holding onto a question with which you’d like a bit of perspective and exploration, I’d really like to hear from you. As usual, I’ll keep you posted with developments on the vlog. Of course, if you are visiting this blog regularly, you won’t be able to miss it.
Recently, a client was dealing with some issues around reacting too quickly and very emotionally to certain things in his environment. His immediate, passionate reactions were not helping him to communicate in a way that was helpful for him. I introduced to him the difference between “reacting” to a situation and “responding.” The difference may seem subtle, but the result is huge. A reaction has less awareness, consciousness, and thought. It is immediate and is based on internal programming that has been in the subconscious mind for a very long time. Like Pavlov’s dog, it is a behavioral reaction that is always ready to be activated. A response has some “space” around it, or some breath in it as I like to call it. It allows you time to actually step back from a stimulus, check into your triggered emotions, breath in a greater awareness and consciousness, and respond from a place of reasoned logic. Often, it is not overly charged with emotion or a need to lash out. A simple tip for training yourself to respond rather than react is to breath deeply into your gut whenever you feel emotionally activated by an external stimulus — a rude comment, a bad driver, a verbal attack by a co-worker or disgruntled friend. Try it the next time you feel yourself activated. As the emotions are activated, stop for a few seconds to breath deeply before saying or doing anything. It is these few moments of creating some space, some breath, around the emotional stimulus that allows you to respond with more awareness, consciousness, and ease. Responding increases understanding and peaceful communication.
Danny Wallace wrote a very funny book titled, JOIN ME! It was all about a movement he started without know what he was starting. He wanted a greater sense of being connected with people for a common cause, though he did not know what that cause would be. In reading Danny’s tale, I laughed a lot and I could completely relate to what he was desiring because I desire it too — that sense of connecting with people for a common cause.
We have that opportunity on May 15th at Community Chiropractic in Olympia, Washington, but in this case, we know the cause. On that day I am teaching the workshop FINDING YOUR PASSION! That’s the cause — Passion! So, I’m asking you to JOIN ME on May 15th from 10 am- 1 pm for this fun and inspiring workshop. To reserve your space, call 360-705-1116.
What is passion? Where does it come from? Do you have any passion in your life? How do you find passion again? Did you ever have passion in the first place? These are the questions, among many others, we will be discussing on May 15th at Community Chiropractic in Olympia, Washington during the 3-hour seminar, FINDING YOUR PASSION!
I love the subject of passion because without it, life just seems to be a bit blase. From 10 am – 1 pm, Dr. Wendy Schauer and I will host 30 participants who feel the same way about passion. Using exercises from my book, “WHO ARE YOU CHOOSING TO BE?” we intend to discover, recover, and revitalize the passion in our lives. This is passion not only in relationships, but also in terms of life purpose, hobbies, friends, and family. We’ll be working and playing together with the intention of putting a smile on a lot of faces, laughter in a lot of bellies, and a spring in a lot of steps. I hope you will join us by reserving your space at 360-705-1116. See you on May 15th!
I’ve just moved my blog over to Google’s WordPress at the suggestion of my friend, Gary Moon. Gary is one of those guys who connects to so many people in a genuine and caring way. He goes above and beyond the call of duty in so many areas and those of us who are fortunate enough to call him friend, benefit from it. I am so very thankful, for Gary and his wife, Dr. Wendy Schauer of Community Chiropractic and Abundant Fitness Center.
The intention for this blog change is to reach a greater audience to share information about inspiration, conscious choice, and deliberate action. I don’t think there has ever been a better time for these subjects not only to be discussed, but to be implemented. So, whether you visit this blog, my website at www.MarkEdgarStephens.com or my book website at www.WhoAreYouChoosingToBe.com, you can be sure that you will find inspirational material that lights a fire in your heart and mind. Thanks for joining me on this ride.
Mark Edgar Stephens' Inspiration Blog 